Quick updates of random things, before I bring up something that I learned about from a handout I received at Micah's Kindergarten (sniff, sniff) orientation this morning:

*Elias is 9 weeks old now and he's really cute and smiley.  He also likes to eat rather often, even and sometimes especially during the time that grown people call "night" and like to sleep.  So, we're pretty exhausted these days (and nights).  But the Little Dude is getting chubbier by the minute, and who doesn't love to squeeze and kiss chubby baby thighs??

*We just got back from a week-long roadtrip in Newton.  Newton is our Dodge "Graham CrackerVan" according to Serena.  He also contains cheerios and all sorts of other crumbs from our trip that we have not yet taken out of him.  Anyway, so we packed up a 5 yr old, a 2 1/2 yr old, and a 2 month old and went on a trip that Google Maps said would take "1 day, 9 hours."  Even we began to doubt our sanity in selecting such an adventure for this summer.   But we wanted to visit Randy's 3 brothers and their families and they don't happen to live next door.  So we packed lots of diapers and lots of snacks, and made sure we used plenty of both to ensure a nice drive.  We also made sure we didn't get them mixed up, because no one wants a onesie full of soggy pretzels, now do they?  But it really was a nice trip and our kids did rather well for all the driving we did.  Of course we did try to make it extra exciting by leaving at 4:40 AM for the first leg of the trip and 2:40 AM on the fifth and final leg.  I mean, 3 out of 5 of us were up anyway, so why not just go?

*Micah starts Kindergarten next Wednesday.  He is very excited, and he does realize (I think) that it involves more than just riding a school bus. 

We got this 3 page handout at orientation this morning, all about the bus.  And no, it was not the lyrics to "The Wheels on the Bus" though that would have been more interesting than most of the 21 "Frequently Asked Questions."  But question 18 more than makes up for the other boring ones.  So much so that I got my lazy bones up off of the couch to get a highlighter from the desk to mark the finer points of interest.

The question reads: "Why are 39" seats in school buses rated for three children when they only will accommodate two?"

Part of the answer states that "In determining seating capacity of a bus, an allowable average rump width standard was established."  Yes, an AARWS!  And it goes on to say that "13" of rump width was suggested when a 3-3 seating plan was used".  Who figures this stuff out?  I'm half tempted to measure the rump widths in our family and see what combination of us could fit on the bus.  Or maybe I could ask Randy to make a pie chart of them somehow (not an actual pie, of course, because then the measurements would need to be altered a bit). 

Anyway, I just had to share that inspiring phrase.  I felt as though the handout morphed from a letter from the school district into a Dave Barry article on the joys of airline travel or something. 

And, since I blog oh-so-frequently, they have both given birth as well!

Isn't that sweet?

Since I haven't blogged since September, I thought I should maybe mention a few other highlights in our family:

I, too, am expecting.  Baby Pierogie is due to arrive somewhere around June 21st.  Serena currently says "girl" and Micah is still trying to hold onto his wish that I will have "one boy and one girl" despite our attempts to explain that there truly is only 1 baby in there and that as far as we can tell, this baby has only one gender.

Serena talks lots and lots now and it's very cute.  She loves going to Aldi with me and has become buds with Miss Keisha, the cashier who gives her TONS of attention.  (Although I think they've changed her schedule, as she hasn't been there the past few Wednesdays and so I don't know what to do because I ALWAYS do my food shopping on Wednesday mornings and I can't even fathom how I'd go on if I had to CHANGE something – heaven forbid!)

We have joined the club of at-first-reluctant-but-then-accepting minivan owners.  We purchased Newton (yes, as in fig newton, only he's big newton) on a Wednesday in February, crashed him 3 days later, got him back in early March, and have been pretty much terrified to drive him since.  So he sits safely in the garage for the most part, awaiting Pierogie's arrival, so that we will actually DRIVE him (without feeling guilty b/c he uses more gas than Bobo – yes, you'd be hard-pressed to find cheaper people than us…).  But he's CUTE and we got an amazing deal on him and he has some great storage features (so, really, since we're not driving him, we basically added a closet to our garage, thus maximizing storage space!!)

 Micah sleeps in a big boy's bed – finally!  (LONG STORY - rather linked with the crashing of Newton.  Let's just say that in an effort to be cheap, we ended up spending over $650 for a $40 craigslist find…)

What else?  Let's see, Micah is loving preschool and enjoyed registering for kindergarten.

Randy spoke about his occupation at Micah's preschool.  Those kids now know, if nothing else, what a plume is.

As for me, I can occasionally make it through an entire afternoon without falling asleep on the couch!

The cats are acting as they always do: Sam needs to be "put away" when guests come, and Toby pees on things.

Randy just informed me that had I not blogged today, he was scheming to post an entry tonight that teased of containing actual content, but then only said, "April Fools!"  So, for those of you who like to know a few tidbits about our life, I'm glad I beat him to it. 

Thanks for reading!

If you click on the pics, you will be magically [thank you, Tina (and James for the "magic")] taken to our WebAlbum, where unknown quantities of happiness and bliss are just waiting for your arrival.

Well, not wanting to miss out on a conversation with someone at Aldi, Micah pipes up from the back of the cart, "I'm 4!" 

OK, stop right there.  Pretend you are the other guy (only pretend that you're NOT staring oddly at a small girl, you're just you – decent, well-meaning, produce-purchasing you, interacting with a mom and her 2 kids).  How do you respond to the little boy who wants to be noticed?  Let's brainstorm some possible responses, shall we?  A) "Oh, wow – 4!  That's great!"  B) "What a big boy!"  C) "Well I'm 52 years old now, but what I liked most about being 4 is that when you go to the doctor, you get a sticker, not a prostate exam!"  Any of those would have been acceptable, right?  (Although I'm not sure I'm quite ready to explain to Micah that he won't be able to go to his same pediatrician when he's 52…)

But this guy chose option D), which was to look up at Micah as if he hadn't even noticed him before and say, in all sincerity, with not a hint of humor, "I don't care about that."  Micah and I took our turns to stare now.  I kept waiting for the guy to say, "I'm just kidding buddy!  I'm glad to hear that you're 4 – you certainly have better manners than I do…" but the closest thing I got was a little look that lasted half a second that said, basically, "perhaps that was a bit harsh, but who cares??" and then we parted ways.  As soon as I got out of earshot, and didn't care too much if I wasn't entirely out yet, I leaned down to Micah and said, "I care!"

What's the deal with that?

So last Wednesday was our 10th anniversary. We just got back from a cruise to Bermuda. Well, not quite exactly that, though we’re holding out for that someday.

We were on vacation in the Poconos with my side of the family and it had been arranged beforehand that from after lunch on, my mom would watch our kids and we would go on a Special Anniversary Date for the rest of the day.

Here is what we envisioned for our Big Day:

1) We would rent a jet ski and repeatedly hurl ourselves into the water as we attempted to both stay on at the same time and ride around the lake in a romantic fashion.

2) We would go somewhere pretty and take a nice walk, enjoying beautiful scenery and magical conversation.

3) We would go to the nice lakefront restaurant we kept driving by for the past few days to eat dinner.

4) We would take yet another magically romantic and breathtakingly beautiful walk, probably along the lake.

5) We would go somewhere amazingly yummy to hunt down some magical dessert, of the ice cream based variety.

6) We would eventually wander back to our condo, being reasonably sure the kids were asleep, and take a nice bubble bath, relax a bit, and go to bed.

Here is what actually happened:

1) We drove to a mall in Scranton in the torrential rain, which got so loud that we couldn’t even hear our John Grisham audio book at some points.

2) We shared a Cinnabon, which was FABULOUS – I just LOVE those things and practically cried out loud when our mall (which has TWO Auntie Anne’s, whose pretzels are also fine fare, but come on, two???) took away the Cinnabon.

3) We walked around and purchased the following items: 2 pieces of Gertrude Hawk chocolate and a sympathy card for my sister, who had to leave the vacation for an evening because her favorite kitty, who had been diagnosed with cancer about a year ago, took a turn for the worst and they had to put him to sleep. SO SAD! Timmy was a great kitty, the most laid back cat you could ever meet.

4) We drove back to our condo to pick up our sunglasses because the sun came out for a few minutes and we thought maybe we could still get a walk in. (Editor’s note: we should have just skipped this step).

5) We ate a nice dinner at the rainfront restaurant.

6) We began to take a walk in our raincoats (wearing our raincoats; we were gonna actually walk on the path, see?), got about 8 yards from our car, heard thunder, came back to the car and decided to just sit there and listen to the rest of our audio book. As my sister said later, “Wow! That is REALLY nerdy!”

7) We went to an ice cream place, the kind where you can’t go inside, even if it’s raining, and before we ordered from the nice (and bored) people inside the window hole, decided that we needed to use some bathroom facilities. One of the younger girls behind the window hole told us, with actual glee and giddiness in her manner, that we’d need to “walk through the rain” to get there and then proceeded to give us these really complicated directions to what turned out to be the porta potties out back. So, as I held my husband’s hand and ran through pouring rain to 2 porta potties sitting side by side, I said something to the effect of, “This is not quite how I pictured celebrating our 10th anniversary!!” I mean, we couldn’t even flush!!
We ordered some yummy ice cream from the window people and sat on the sidewalk where it was dry and ate our dessert, while enjoying the view of the parking lot.

9) We went back to our condo, took a bubble bath (well, it was actually a chocolate bath with this stuff that I made at MOPS that was supposed to be for just me I think, cuz we made it at the spa day that was teaching us how to relax and unwind and pamper ourselves as women, but Randy really likes chocolate and we didn’t have anything else, and so there you have it) relaxed a bit, and went to bed.

So you can see some similarities between the two itineraries, but also some striking contrasts. All in all, it was a fun and memorable day. And just so you don’t start thinking not nice things about my husband, he had already planned (before he even knew the forecast) to take me to my favorite place on earth in just a few weeks for an entire weekend!! (Now, if we can just get the childcare lined up…) And though the brochure doesn’t specify, I’m pretty sure there are indoor, flushing toilets there!

Me: “Do you think you’d like to get married someday?”
Micah: “Well, I want YOU to marry me. Because I love you.”
Me: “Aww, thanks! But I’m already married to Daddy.”
Micah: (thinking deeply look, then the “aha!” look) “Well, if another lady marries Daddy, then you can marry me!”

*footnote: OK, I am still basically like any other normal red-blooded female in that I kind of freak out (at times, complete the full-fledged arm-waving and screeching/squealing sound that all males detest) at the sight of a spider, especially when it is in my own personal dwelling. To be more specific, especially when I am naked and defenseless in the shower, without my glasses on, and therefore unable to tell exactly how scary the spider is, or for that matter, if it even IS a spider at all. I usually just have to whisper frantically (I can’t yell, cuz I shower at night and don’t want to wake the kids) for Randy to come and save me.
Anyway, but my brother-in-law Harold has a deep love and respect for all living things and though he has not yet been able to convince me to feel bad for all the bugs that fly into and then die upon on my windshield as I drive, he has caused both Randy and me to feel a little uneasy about flippantly squishing bugs who probably mean no harm and can’t help it that they’re hideously ugly. So in most cases, we resort to getting “the cup” from Randy’s bottom dresser drawer (a plastic cup that has some sort of stiff paper inside it, both of which are necessary to escort a bug found indoors, back to where it belongs outdoors) and hope that once outside, the bug does not become outraged enough at the eviction that it brings back colonies of its friends to invade our home in mass force. But Randy (and sheer laziness on my part, frankly) has gotten me to the point where I am willing to grant an indoor-living-permit to certain spiders. The qualifications for such a permit include, but are not limited to: not being horrendously frightening looking, or overly large, or too hairy; not being located at eyeball level in a primary living/sleeping space; and not moving swiftly, or really at all. In other words, if a spider is squatting in a corner of the basement, minding his own business and ridding our house of other bugs, he’s in. But if I happen to have the vacuum out down there and he seems to be acting slightly rebellious (or I’m just in the kind of mood where I just “want things CLEAN for crying out loud”), he’s gone.

So my parents went on vacation this week WITHOUT US! I cannot believe it. Actually I can, because they’re getting quite good at it. They do not seem at all concerned about having an empty nest (well, not quite technically empty, cuz Nick still lives there, but he can take care of himself, cuz he’s big). They’re visiting the Grand Canyon. First time ever for either one of them, so that’s pretty cool. Tomorrow is their 41st anniversary, and I think they left the state so that Trish and I wouldn’t throw another huge party for them like we did last year (I mean, why would we do it THIS year, when my baby actually sleeps through the night, when my wrists don’t hurt constantly, etc? Much more appropriate last year!!)

I plunked the kids into the double stroller this morning and off we went to take a walk. I had made sure that they each had a toy to hold, so I thought we were good. But 3 steps out of the garage and The Bean says, “Uh, uh” and turns around looking concerned. Ah yes, she is used to having 2 toys: the purple and orange car AND the Yellow Squishy Seal. She only had the car. So I went back to try to find Yellow Squishy Seal for her other hand. I couldn’t find him! So after searching very quickly in the most obvious places, I grab Red Squishy Crab (they’re kinda like cousins-once-removed. Well actually, Yellow Squishy Seal is definitely- removed, but hopefully he’ll come back soon). At which point Micah declares that HE needs 2 toys. Just as he was starting to whine that HE wanted Red Squishy Crab, I lunged for a blue non-squishy crab and thrust it at him, triumphantly announcing, “Here’s a crab!”

So we set off again. We go for a few minutes, then Bean drops her car. As I hand it back to her I notice that Red Squishy Crab is not in sight. So I try to find him for her so she won’t miss him 3 seconds later and get sad. Well, I can’t find him! So we turn around, inform the kind neighbor who has stopped preening his flowers to say hi to us that we lost a toy and need to go back and find it (I did not mention to him that the toy in question was Red Squishy Crab; I don’t really know the guy at all and don’t want to be the fodder for any neighborhood rumors) and head back the way we came, looking fervently at the ground for something red (yes, and squishy, sorry but it’s a difficult word to type sometimes). We are getting closer and closer to our house with no sign of him. I am starting to feel like the “let’s take a nice walk around our neighborhood before lunch” idea was going to be more like “let’s walk up and down this same little stretch of about 7 houses until someone calls the police because of possible stalkers.” Sure enough, there he was in our driveway, rather close to the spot where I handed him to her in the first place. I did NOT get him. We turned around and, despite Micah’s earnest concern that Red Squishy Crab would be sad sitting in the sun while we were gone, completed our walk! It was very nice and we saw many beautiful blossoms, 1 gorgoeus dog, 1 decent-enough dog, 1 mom, and 2 little kids.

I’m supposed to be looking through our digital photos on the computer and figuring out which ones to get printed into actual hand-held photos that can be displayed in pretty frames or scrap-booked or even just hung on the fridge with random magnets that occasionally let go for no apparent reason. But it’s so overwhelming because Randy has this (I guess) NEED to utilize the feature on his camera that takes like 8 billion pictures per nanosecond. So I can’t just be like, “Oh out of the 3 pictures of the pretty tree, this one is the best (cuz its smile is so sweet) so I will delete the other two – done.” No, I have to get all squinty and look at the rows and rows of pictures of this tree, trying to figure out which one has the least wind-disruption, unless of course the wind makes it look prettier, and wonder the whole time: A) Will Randy be sad if I delete this particular one? What about this one? B) Why did he take this many pictures of a TREE? It’s not like it has our adorable children next to it! It’s just sitting there! I daresay 5 pictures of it would be plenty!! and C) What does he want to DO with this picture, anyway?
So it’s bad enough when it’s a tree; a subject that I can appreciate well enough, but by no means feel horrendously awful for deleting a few of its photos from our collection. But when he does this photo-rampage with our own actual children??!! I am beseiged by guilt and fear and yes, annoyance that he has seen fit to put me in this position by taking this many pictures of the child. Because the problem is, there are sometimes very teensy differences in each one of the 63 photos of the baby cuddled up with the bear. And who am I to say which ones go and which ones stay? How dreadful to push the Delete button while hovering over an image of your own flesh and blood! And what if, years down the line, we are looking at the 13 that I saved and Randy goes, “I am almost positive I took one that showed her with her left eye 3/4 closed and her right eye all the way open, but not the one where her nuk is tilted to the left of her mouth, because I see that you saved that one…” and then I will collapse onto the floor with shame (I just hope I land on the top, cuz shame can be heavy) because I unknowingly deleted my husband’s absolute favorite photo of his only daughter!

We ate leftovers for lunch today.

Micah said he wishes all 4 of us were girls because then he could wear ponytails in his hair.

We also have a Green Squishy Frog, but he’s smaller that the other guys, so I think he’s from a different family.

Randy has told me numerous times that I can delete whatever photos I want to and he will not be mad.

But I’m still scared.

A few minutes later he asks, "Mommy, if you were me, who would be your mommy and daddy?"

A few minutes after that: "Would Uncle Harold be your daddy?"