I can't sleep. So I will type things. Maybe if I type really fast, I'll get tired. Or maybe if I type really slowly, I'll get bored. Either way, maybe I'll get some sleep soon. I've been up since 2:53. That's when Serena woke up to eat. She went back to sleep just fine, thankfully. I, however, lay there in bed next to Sleeping Randy and thought about all the things I need to get done in the next 2 days before we leave for vacation. I thought about my to-do list sitting there in the other room, daring me to come and conquer it. But most of the things on it involve using loud kitchen appliances or scrubbing icky things (hey, I just had a thought: what if I put a wet, soapy rag on the electric mixer's beaters and use that to clean the shower?)
But I was able to type up instructions for our very kind neighbor, who is risking his bodily parts to come and take care of our cats while we're gone, and I was also able to renew some library books (you'd be amazed at how many other sleepless parents I saw there, wide-eyed, browsing the Self-Help section)
Anyway, I thought I'd tell you some things:
*Once when I was younger I forgot to throw away my gum before getting in the shower and I felt so guilty (because in my wee mind, this was a sin far greater than many others) that afterwards I went, near tears, and confessed my iniquity to my dad, who laughed and said, "That's OK, I do that all the time!" Oh. Neat.
*Randy REALLY hates it when people put those "Support Our Troops" ribbon bumper stickers on in such a way that the words are horizontal, because than the ribbon is cockeyed and do they really think we won't know what it says if we have to read at a slight angle?
*I realized recently that just because I have "call insurance company" on my to-do list, they don't necessarily have "spend lots of time making small talk with Shari Miles" on theirs. I probably didn't even make it onto their to-do list, and in fact am actually PREVENTING them from accomplishing their list because they have to take my call ("Yes, that's very nice that your daughter can sit up, but belive me, you can't afford the Hit-Head-On-Pointy-Toy rider for your policy, so why are you telling me this?")
*We started a Micah's Potty Chart thing complete with homemade smiley face "Micah's Potty People Stickers" and "Micah's Dry Drawers Awards" to see if that will make the whole stop-playing-every-few-hours-to-relieve-myself thing more appealing to him. However, I must say, the kid can dance! He has to go so badly sometimes that if he decides to sit indian style, thus rendering his legs still, his toes start to dance!
*Once I got to the 23rd level of Donkey Kong.
*Micah and I found this really big, freaky bug outside the other day, and when Randy got home we made him look at it. First mistake. He gets all intrigued and discovers it's only an exoskeleton, decides it's way cool, and brings it inside. While I am making dinner. He concedes that I may think this is unpleasant, but can he please just keep it for a little while to take pictures of it? I, conjuring up all my love for him, say "I guess so." Second mistake. He then places it ever so carefully on our living room air conditioner, where it sits, staring menacingly at me (the thing's eyeballs were HUGE) for the next 27 hours, until finally I beg Randy to get rid of it. So he then gets out his camera, moves the bug to our very nice white wooden ledge behind our love seat and spends the next 10 minutes doing a photo shoot ("now turn just a little bit to your left, point your chin down 8 degrees please, and say 'this is more fun than rocket science' ah, very good"). He then disposes of the bug and our evening resumes. Until I say something about being surprised that he spent so much time taking pictures of it. Third mistake. He says, with genuine sorrow and disappointment in his voice, "Oh, you didn't even get to see the pictures yet!" To which I say, "The thing was ugly as all get out to begin with, it's not gonna get any better in a photo!"
*At a small group meeting a couple years ago, Randy referred to the apostle Paul as a "centerfold Jew"
*It's now 5:37 and I'm feeling at least a bit more guilty for being awake, if not actually a wee bit drowsy. So good night.
What I really meant was that Paul (prior to his conversion) was the “poster child” for Judiasm. Also, check out our web album (link is on the left panel of the main page). I posted pictures of the lovely posing bug.
Sorry to hear about your sleeping problem…but that was really funny. I won’t wish for anymore sleepless nights so we can get more funny though. Impressive with the Donkey Kong (how many levels are there?) And Randy, some how, hearing what you meant makes your comment even funnier. Hee, Paul as a centerfold!!!
I am now strangely compelled to pick up a “Support Our Troops” ribbon the next time we’re at the Dollar Store, and slap it onto your bumper. Crookedly, of course. Wonder how long it would be before Randy noticed?